It's Not You, It's Me

Things have been rather quiet on the blog lately, haven't they? The tough thing about a blog is that you feel so transparent. I am putting my life out here for anyone and everyone to see, and sometimes that is overwhelming. Sometimes I just want to hide away and keep things to myself. Sometimes I don't want to open up. I'm in that place right now. Not everything that happens in my life gets published here. Many things are not appropriate to put on blast for the world to see. Some days I fold inward. Some days I just need to not share.

The weight of pressure I put on myself to get it all done is crushing sometimes. It's hard to work full time, be a good mother, keep a clean home, keep relationships, and then blog all about it. Any extra weight added on top and my knees start to buckle. And since I cannot sacrifice any other aspect of my life, it is this blog that must be put on hold. Until those things that I keep to myself quiet down and the weight lets off, I let this space grow quiet.

I'm writing this now to let you know that I still love you. I just need some space right now. But I'll be back soon, and better than ever.

XOXO

Pretty Flowers

source

During Spring Break I took advantage of the extra time at home to do a little crafting. I've shared a few of my yarn wreaths on the blog before, and my love for them is still going strong. I thought I might share my newest creation today, but more importantly I wanted to share this lovely little tutorial I found (via pinterest) for  felt flowers.

The tutorial is really simple to follow, and I was able to make four flowers in about 20 minutes. I love the way they look, and how simple they are. Basically you just stitch together four felt petals, then pull the thread together and tie an knot. I added a few silver beads in the middle to jazz it up a little, and to cover the opening in the center. Easy shmeezy. Here's a look at my finished wreath:

Fun!

XOXO

Giraffes Are Awesome

This weekend we took a little family trip to the zoo. The weather was breezy, warm, and perfect as we strolled around checking out all the animals. We hadn't visited the zoo in awhile, and Hannah was so much more excited this time around. She was shrieking with excitement as we walked through the primate exhibit. The lions and elephants were pretty big hits as well, but nothing could compare with the giraffes. Our zoo recently started this new thing were they let you walk up to a platform and feed the giraffes big pieces of lettuce. It was seriously one of the coolest things I've ever done. Or really, watched Hannah do, since she was the one handing off the lettuce. She wasn't even scared at all. She just giggled and reached out to the giraffes. Wytmer said they were too close for him.

After the giraffes we took a spin on the carousel and spent some time in the petting zoo. Hannah was a big fan of both activities.

It was a good way to end a pretty wonderful Spring Break. Monday morning always comes too soon.

XOXO

Spring Break 2012

We all know how this week started. I suppose Hannah was just taking a couple days to adjust to being at home with mama, because the last two days have been a definite improvement. Our days have been filled with lots of Spring cleaning, shopping dates, and trips to the park. It felt so good to just be home.


This week I also took advantage of the extra time by doing a little crafting. I found this tutorial for no-sew cushion covers and made some pretty new green covers for the cushions on our couch. The tutorial uses cloth napkins, but my pillows are big, so I just bought some fabric from Joann's, and hemmed the edges with some hem tape. I love love love how they came out. Also, I need to learn how to sew.

We bought Hannah a new magnadoodle this week. The eraser thingy on the old one broke, so we picked up this new fancy one from Target. We've all been magnadoodling like crazy over here. Hannah keeps making me draw "babbas" (aka gabba characters).

Yesterday we took lunch to Wytmer at work, then stopped by a park close to home. The weather was a perfect, breezy 75 degrees. Spring felt so good on our skin that afternoon, and it made me excited for the upcoming summer months. Hannah has been running around in shorts, and her sweet little legs look so cute dancing in the sunshine.

Hannah's new car seat strap covers came in the mail this week and I love them so much. She always gets awful red marks on her neck from being buckled in, and these cute little straps from June. The Shop. work perfectly to fix the problem. They are so soft, and I am in love with the bright colored chevron pattern.

This weekend we are planning on finishing up some more spring cleaning (closets, baseboards, refrigerator doors), and possibly hitting up the zoo if we can get there early enough. Houstonians know that this good weather won't last forever, so we swarm outdoor attractions in the Spring.We tried to visit the zoo a couple weeks ago and we spent an hour looking for parking before giving up.

Hope you all had a fantastic week! Happy Friday!

XOXO

Book Chat: a book I would live in

I missed last week's book chat, but I'm back again this week! Here's the question...

If you could live in any book (time, place, setting, people), what would it be? 

I thought of all the books I have read recently and the idea of living in any of them wasn't very appealing (The Road, Hunger Games). Surely I've read something where the setting wasn't so depressing; something sunnier and warmer. Right away I remembered The Last Summer by Ann Brashares.

from banesandnoble.com:

In the town of Waterby on Fire Island, the rhythms and rituals of summer are sacrosanct: the ceremonial arrivals and departures by ferry; yacht club dinners with terrible food and breathtaking views; the virtual decree against shoes; and the generational parade of sandy, sun-bleached kids, running, swimming, squealing, and coming of age on the beach.

Set against this vivid backdrop, The Last Summer (of You and Me) is the enchanting, heartrending story of a beach-community friendship triangle among three young adults for whom summer and this place have meant everything. Sisters Riley and Alice, now in their twenties, have been returning to their parents’ modest beach house every summer for their entire lives. Petite, tenacious Riley is a tomboy and a lifeguard, always ready for a midnight swim, a gale-force sail, or a barefoot sprint down the beach. Beautiful Alice is lithe, gentle, a reader and a thinker, and worshipful of her older sister. And every summer growing up, in the big house that overshadowed their humble one, there was Paul, a friend as important to both girls as the place itself, who has now finally returned to the island after three years away. But his return marks a season of tremendous change, and when a simmering attraction, a serious illness, and a deep secret all collide, the three friends are launched into an unfamiliar adult world, a world from which their summer haven can no longer protect them.

I read this book three summers ago when I had just graduated from college and I didn't have a job or a baby yet. I had endless amounts of free time, so I read countless beach-reading, summer books. The Last Summer was one of my favorite because I always felt like I was on vacation when I picked it up. The story is a sweet love story set in a sleepy beach town. The characters felt like old friends, and the days were filled with sand, ocean, and laughter. Of course there was some conflict along the way, but an endless summer vacation still sounds completely inviting right about now. 

Linking up with Sweet Green Tangerine

XOXO

Sometimes my kid is an asshole

Gosh, that sounds harsh, but let me explain.

This week is spring break for me, so I get to stay home with Hannah. I have been looking forward to this week since Christmas break ended. I love spending time with my daughter. I love fixing her breakfast and taking her to the park. I love our shopping dates, living room forts, and cuddles on the couch. I had so much awesomeness planned out for this week. But Hannah had other plans. We've been dealing with nap strikes and extreme tantrums. Saturday I had to go to a wedding and Hannah threw the biggest fit because she saw me wearing a dress and wanted to wear it. And I'm not talking about a little crying. It was a good ten minutes of red faced, snot covered, back arching, sweating, screaming at the top of her lungs and flailing on the floor. And there is nothing I can do to make it stop. Even if she eventually gets what she wants, she will keep screaming because I didn't give it to her fast enough.

Right now I am writing this while she plays in her room instead of napping. I tried our normal nap time routine but she started freaking out and I had to step away. I feel awful, and guilty, and mad at myself. But I was losing my control and I had to take a break.

Sigh.

I am trying to remind myself that this spirited and passionate personality is what I love so much about Hannah. What makes me so frustrated is really what I am most proud of. But I still want her to understand her limits and learn how to express her emotions more effectively. I try to give her consistency and a routine as much as possible, and I try to model better ways of showing our feelings. But really, she isn't even two yet. She is in this funky place where she knows what she wants but she doesn't always know how to ask for things, or how to let me know why she is upset.

I hope this post doesn't make me seem like a jerk. But I had to be honest here and say that being a mom isn't always sunshine and rainbows.

Bye Bye Crib

I'm going to try to write this post without getting all crazy emotional. I can't promise anything.

This weekend we converted Hannah's crib into a toddler bed.

I always said that I would wait forever and a day to do this because cribs are awesome. It's nice to know that your kid is safely confined at night when you can't keep an eye on them. Hannah loves her crib, so I figured we had some time before we needed to make the change. As long as she wasn't climbing out, we weren't fixing something that wasn't broken.

And then she climbed out. I put her down for a nap one day last week and left the door cracked. I came into the living room and in a few minutes I heard rustling and baby whispers close by. I turned to look but didn't see anything (I'm assuming she was hiding in the hallway, not wanting to let me see her). I waited a little while then went to investigate, and sure enough she had climbed out of bed and was in my closet trying on a pair of stilettos. It was definitely a "holy crap you aren't a newborn anymore" moment. I have them often these days.

So Saturday was the big day. Wytmer and I were convinced that we were destined to a night of crying (on all our parts). But you guys? She was amazing! I read her a book while she was already laying down, then I did our normal seahorse-book-lights out-kisses routine. I closed the door and that was it. I checked on her eventually and she was still asleep in her bed. It was a toddler miracle. I don't want to boast too much because yesterday we did have a get out of bed ordeal. But she was quickly comforted with another story and was asleep only 30 minutes later than usually. Tonight marks our fourth night, and she stayed in bed with no problem.

I think part of our success is due to the fact that we have a really solid bedtime routine and I kept everything really similar to normal, so she knew what to expect. That, and Hannah adjusts really well to changes. She is also very independent, so she enjoyed getting in bed by herself. However, she is the most stubborn and dramatic little girl ever, so I know we will have bumps along the road eventually.

I am so incredibly proud of my baby.

XOXO

Eleven Things

I'm sure you all have read 10 million of these posts. I was tagged by Amanda, so it's my turn to play along. :)

Rules
1. Post these rules.
2. Post a photo of yourself and 11 random things.
3. Answer the questions set for you in the original post.
4. Create 11 new questions.
5. Go to their blog/twitter and tell them that you've tagged them. 

Randoms

1. I was born and raised in a suburb of Toronto, Ontario. I moved to Texas when I was 13 because my dad met my step mom online and they were getting married. I'm still a Canadian citizen, but I have my green card, and all that legal shiz.

2. I brush my teeth in the shower.

3. I'm obsessive about things being cleaned and tidy. If things are out of place it makes me anxious and physically uncomfortable. Sometimes Wytmer will mess with me by moving the angle of a picture frame to see if I notice. I do, and I don't appreciate it.

4. I put chap stick on my eyebrows. It keeps them in places and makes them look more defined.

5. I worked at Target for 3 years during college. That is actually were I met Wytmer. I worked in customer service and he worked in grocery. He would help me bring heavy boxes into the backroom. I thought he was too nice, and he thought I was a mean girl. We were both (mostly) wrong.

6. My favorite part of teaching ninth grade is the weird kids. You know the ones who write Pokemon fan-fiction, wear the same shirt everyday, and run through the halls so they won't be late? Those kids are the best people. They are hilarious, fascinating, and sadly under appreciated.

7. I take parenting very seriously. I research everything and always try to make thoughtful choices about Hannah's life. I tend to lean towards the views of Attachment Parenting, and strive to be a gentle, loving, and attentive mother. I don't always act perfectly, but that is my goal.

8. I am a quiet person. Loud noises make me uncomfortable. I like to be alone, too. I guess you could say I'm an introvert. I still enjoy being social, but alone times is essential to my sanity.

9. Growing up I was obsessed with Hanson. My friends and I plastered cut out photos from Teen Bop all over our walls to the point where it looked like wallpaper and my parents were considering an intervention. The first concert I ever went to was Hanson.

10. I am terrified of needles and knives. The idea of getting surgery terrifies me, and I pass out when I have to get a shot or blood drawn. This was one of the reason I didn't have Hannah in a hospital. My OB wouldn't agree to forgo the IV, so I switched over to a birth center in my third trimester and had a beautiful, all natural birth. Obviously I am not afraid of pain. I am just completely irrational about needles.

11.Can I be crazy mushy for this last one? Because I'm about to be. You know how people always ask if you could have dinner with anyone in the world, living or dead, who would it be? My answer is honestly my daughter. I know that it's crazy, but she's basically the most amazing human being in my world. She's spectacular and I wouldn't choose anyone else to spend my time with. But, if I could be fancy with it, I'd want to spend it with a future version of herself. Or maybe the newborn version. Or today. She's pretty wonderful today.

Amanda's Questions
1. What is your favorite meal? I love Mexican food. There is a local Tex-Mex chain around where we live and I could eat their queso, chicken quesadillas, and citrus tea every day of the week. Plus, they have a free ice cream machine. You can't get much better than that in my book.
2. Did you ever (or do you still) have a nickname(s)? What were they and how did they come to be? My parents called me Puff. I think it had something to do with me holding my breath and puffing out my cheeks when I was upset.
3. What is your favorite time of the day? In the evenings Hannah and I have quiet reading time after dinner and I look forward to it all day.
4. What is one chore that you absolutely hate? I hate vacuuming because my vacuum sucks (but not in a good way).
5. If money and gas prices were no object, what kind of car/vehicle would you love to own? I really like the new Ford Edge. I want my next car to be higher up and roomier, because I have a Honda Civic now and getting Hannah strapped in her car seat is always a hassle.
6. Lefty or righty? Lefty! I'm the only one in my family. I thought Hannah might be a lefty for awhile, but she settled on her right hand.
7. Would you consider yourself to be an organized person? Yes, to a fault.
8. Do you get nervous speaking in front of small groups? Large groups? Actually, yes. I know that doesn't make sense because I am a teacher. But for some reason, teaching is different for me. When I had to give speeches in public speaking classes I would always freak out for days.
9. Do you have a celebrity crush? If so, who? (pictures are totally acceptable ;) I'm not big on celebrities. They all just look the same to me. But strangely, I have a pretty serious love for Otis Redding. His voice is so sexy, and his live performances are so intense. Never mind the fact that he is dead, and that he could be my grandpa if he were alive.
10. If you could eat only fruits or vegetables for a whole week, which would it be? Fruits or veggies? Fruits. I try to love veggies equally, but I have a sweet tooth.
11. What is your favorite local (non-chain) restaurant (or coffee shop, ice cream parlor, etc)? Oh man, there are so many! I really love this little Vietnamese sandwich shop that is next door to my apartment complex. Sometimes, when I roll down the window of my car to open our gate, smells of smokey, grilled pork waft into my car and I basically have to turn back around. 


My questions
1. What is your worst habit?
2. What is something that you are most proud of?
3. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
4. What kind of music do you listen to?
5. Would you ever consider sky diving?
6. What are your top 3 favorite blogs?
7. What are you afraid of?
8. What was your first job?
9. What do you usually order at Starbucks?
10. Do you like to exercise?
11. What TV shows do you regularly watch?


I tag Jessica, Kim, and Randalin


XOXO